After spending some of my adolescent years dabbling in alcohol consumption, I decided a while ago to forgo the habit. After a few brushes here and there with alcohol - procured embarrassments as well as acquainting myself with the unpleasant taste with a hangover, I said simply I've had enough. Sincerely speaking though I tried to be like my peers and take a dip constantly. I tried to indulge in this recreational habit and didn't get my money's worth. Despite encouragement and lobbying from some good friends, I came to the conclusion that alcohol and I will be nothing more than two ex-lovers whose relationship has broken down irremediably and the only choice left to them is a bitter break-up.
It is generally said that every decision one takes in life has consequences. So what has this vow of alcohollessness bought me? During my brief romance with alcohol, never or hardly was my masculinity or manhood questioned. But after I told alcohol it was over, my manhood has consistently been doubted not because I have not risen to a sexual occasion or emitted gay tendencies. The reason has simply been my vow of abstinence from alcohol. Every now and then when friends and I have met for a drink, my asking for a soft drink has been greeted with the innocuous and no less hurtfull question ,'O'boy, you be chap?'. This question is hurled at me by both acquaintances of my alcohol - drinking days and new ones.
I am deeply perplexed by this state of things. I know I live in an exceedingly macho world where a slurry of stereotypes have been strapped to men's back. But then again I also know change is in the air. Change is on the way and a lot of gender cross pollination is taking. Stereoptypes are being challenged and are no longer unimpeachable certainties. Stereotypes hitherto the preserve of a particular gender can now be rightly ascribe to the opposite gender. So why is my masculinity being questioned because I have voluntarily decided to part ways with alcohol? Why is a vagina being forced on me simply because I have chosen to reduce my liver's workload?
As strange as it may be, women are amongst those who have thrown the woman stone at me for my stance on alcohol. This is deeply puzzling and worrying I must add because it betrays a prejudiced mindset from a group fighting to break free of the shackles of deeply-rooted societal prejudices. Come to think of it, when a woman asks me if I am a woman for not consuming alcohol, she normalizes a question as hideous as what are women doing in school? Not everybody has been negative about parting ways with alcohol. I have actually been lauded by a few persons. However I am surprised at the general reaction: surprise is the word that best sums up all the reactions. It leaves me wondering whether alcohol consumption has become the 47th chromosome that goes into creating a man in our society. It also leaves me wondering whether they aren't other avenues for men to affirm their manhood in today's society. If I had a 100,000,000 dollar company and did not drink, would I still be tagged a woman? Whatever the case, there are more ways than one to validate one's masculinity. Mine just happens not to be alcohol consumption.
P/S:There is a fundamental problem with considering a man a woman because he
doesn't drink alcohol. It gives the impression that woman don't drink alcohol. False. Emancipation has given women the leeway to indulge in traditionally male habits like drinking and o'boy are they drinking. So has heavy alcohol consumption made women to be considered men?
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