Introducing LOL: THE BOYBAND from Cameroon

After X Maleya's success signaled the rise and rise of boybands in Cameroon, here come LOL. The  four man crew is made up of Cyrus, Slims Beats, Young Bird and Leslo. With their eyes firmly set on showcasing their talent on the world stage, the band dropped a few singles to much acclaim. Some of their tracks include 'Njoka' and 'Girl no bad'. The Best Music - signed band recently performed at major events like FIAFA 2013 and the Miss Seme 2013. Their hit 'Njoka' can be enjoyed right here.

Once upon a time there lived a man.....Iya Mohammed

Iya Mohammed and his arrest have made headlines this week in the Cameroonian media and in public debate. The current President of the Cameroonian Football Federation was arrested after the Indomitable Lions of Cameroon suffered a 2-0 defeat to the Sparrow Hawks of Togo in the build up to the AFCON 2015 and World Cup 2014 qualifies in Africa. His long-awaited arrest is related to his alleged embezzlement at cotton company SODECOTON where he is General Manager. Much has been said and will continue to be said about the issue given that it comes at a time when Cameroonian football is in the grip of a recession and the fight against corruption continues to be waged here and there. Now that most have spoken and the room is now silent, let’s run that Iya tape again and see what has been left unsaid or said without vehemence. Without belabouring the point, let’s explore the Iya saga otherwise, using questions.

1)      What has become of the principle of presumption of innocence that was recently officially enshrined in our criminal law system with the promulgation of the criminal procedure code? Take a listen to some and you’d think Mr Iya Mohammed has already had his day in court and has failed to prove his innocence? The last time I checked he was mainly being held for questioning? We’re not his lawyers but we’re just saying.

2)      What alternative do we have in case Mr Iya Mohammed is ultimately disqualified from running for the presidency of FECAFOOT? His two challengers, Mr John B. Ndeh and Marlene Emvoutou, have yet to convince the Cameroonian public that their respective visions can reboot and sustainably revive our ailing football structure. Marlen Emvoutou has allegedly promised to put in a billion CFAF but will that halt the Lions' decline and get out local league on the fast track to professionalisation? Mr John B. Ndeh apparently has a website with his vision, but his site doesn’t talk and isn’t he supposed to take his message to Cameroonians and not the other way round? (We know only regional FECAFOOT delegates vote but the Cameroonian public, underwriters of FECAFOOT’s activities, deserve some wooing at the very least). These challengers have yet to show that they’ll be any better than Mr Iya Mohammed, so decried and so isolated when the going gets a tough.

3)      Why has Mr Iya Mohammed become the villain all of a sudden? Is it because he is guilty of managerial impropriety or is it because our much-beloved Lions can no longer catch any prey and as usual we need someone credible enough to take the blame? We’re just asking because when the Lions outroared the Teranga Lions in 2002 and clipped the wings of the Super Eagles in 2000 in Lagos, Iya could do no wrong. Or is it because we just want to exit the Northerner and get our own guy in?

The fight against corruption should be waged unrelentingly, given. But in an attempt to quench the thirst of the Cameroonian public, let's remember: Iya Mohammed is innocent until proven guilty after a free and fair trail; if he can't bid for FECAFOOT's presidency, we should make sure his successor performs better than he did. Should these considerations be swept aside in the current battle for the helm of FECAFOOT then we may not be any better off even after we finally fail to qualify for all the competitions we are aiming for.

I am a man, I don't drink beer so I am a woman?

After spending some of my adolescent years dabbling in alcohol consumption, I decided a while ago to forgo the habit. After a few brushes here and there with alcohol - procured embarrassments as well as acquainting myself with the unpleasant taste with a hangover, I said simply I've had enough. Sincerely speaking though I tried to be like my peers and take a dip constantly. I tried to indulge in this recreational habit and didn't get my money's worth. Despite encouragement and lobbying from some good friends, I came to the conclusion that alcohol and I will be nothing more than two ex-lovers whose relationship has broken down irremediably and the only choice left to them is a bitter break-up. 

                           It is generally said that every decision one takes in life has consequences. So what has this vow of alcohollessness bought me? During my brief romance with alcohol, never or hardly was my masculinity or manhood questioned. But after I told alcohol it was over, my manhood has consistently been doubted  not because I have not risen to a sexual occasion or emitted gay tendencies. The reason has simply been my vow of abstinence from alcohol. Every now and then when friends and I have met for a drink, my asking for  a soft drink has been greeted with the innocuous and no less hurtfull question ,'O'boy, you be chap?'. This question is hurled at me by both acquaintances of my alcohol - drinking days and new ones. 

                          I am deeply perplexed by this state of things. I know I live in an exceedingly macho world where a slurry of stereotypes have been strapped to men's back. But then again I also know change is in the air. Change is on the way and a lot of gender cross pollination  is taking. Stereoptypes are being challenged and are no longer unimpeachable certainties. Stereotypes hitherto the preserve of a particular gender can now be rightly ascribe to the opposite gender. So why is my masculinity being questioned because I have voluntarily decided to part ways with alcohol? Why is a vagina being forced on me simply because I have chosen to reduce my liver's workload? 

                           As strange as it may be,  women are amongst those who have thrown the woman stone at me for my stance on alcohol. This is deeply puzzling and worrying I must add because it betrays a prejudiced mindset from a group fighting to break free of the shackles of deeply-rooted societal prejudices. Come to think of it, when a woman asks me if I am a woman for not consuming alcohol, she normalizes a question as hideous as what are women doing in school? Not everybody has been negative about parting ways with alcohol. I have actually been lauded by a few persons. However I am surprised at the general reaction: surprise is the word that best sums up all the reactions. It leaves me wondering whether alcohol consumption has become the 47th chromosome that goes into creating a man in our society. It also leaves me wondering whether they aren't other avenues for men to affirm their manhood in today's society. If I had a 100,000,000 dollar company and did not drink, would I still be tagged a woman? Whatever the case, there are more ways than one to validate one's masculinity. Mine just happens not to be alcohol consumption.

P/S:There is a fundamental problem with considering a man a woman because he doesn't drink alcohol. It gives the impression that woman don't drink alcohol. False. Emancipation has given women the leeway to indulge in traditionally male habits like drinking and o'boy  are they drinking. So has heavy alcohol consumption made women to be considered men?

      

Soffa nova finish! CRTV -1, New Akono +0, Eto'o dem 0, Togo 2

If you be check say how way Eto'o da new coach kam so Cameroon da sofa dong finish den check again. Togo jos komot for win Cameroon 2 not for Lome. By the special grace of CRTV Cameroonian dem see the match. CRTV pass the whole time dee gee excuse say connection dee worry since e get for komot Togo first pass na for France before e kam dang for Yaounde. And say some mamee rain be fall for Togo. People dem las hear the match na with pawa becos for first half haf commentary go off then kam back way dem dee win Cameroon 1 not. Na way Togo dong win Cameroon so road for go  next African Nations Cup and World cup for Brazil dong bend bend pass road for go heaven. Some peepo dem dee cosh na Akono yee follow back. But the man jos enter has e nova even  shidong sef. Some people dem dee vex na say why dem mof Akono way e be dee try.

                             Na true say Cameroon still stand for fine place for yee group but e for better if they fo win dee match so that when dem meetop Kabila yee contripeepo dem no ko dee ova worry. Anyhow the thing day, Cameroonian dem jos dee pray say make ting way e happen las time no happen again or else...

Wokolo'oh wokolo'oh! So Cameroon na lass koko for FIFA rankings

If you be dee check say Lion dem nova turn now na pussy then shame ko do you. FIFA dong read name dem for national football team and wouna no ko imagine: Cameroon day inside lass koko dem. Out of 207 contree dem Lion dem be na nomba 65. Wo dee go na back back becos last moan wo be be na nomba 60. Kind kind contree dem day for wo front. Contree dem way no man no be no say day dee play ndamba like Equatorial Guinea day for wo front. Dem be nomba 64. Even Haiti and Uzebekistan day fo wo front for nomba 63. Small so Iran fo day fo wo front. First black man contree na Drogba dem for nomba 13. Chai, wo dee sofa no be small ontop say wo get kind kind Eto'o. Wo hope say Volke Finke dong year.

Njoumba palava! When ya ngah say you be yee small brother from village

 When you dee stay for town, day fit hardly pass way you no take tako go someplace. When you take tako someday dem,you fit get balock enter taxi way the driver komot yee house wo ‘hungry’. You and yee ko lass get matta before you wan reach place way you dee go. But some day dem Grand Jesus fit butter ya bread you enter taxi way the driver yee woman jos born. All yee skin na sugar and wouna ko tory like old kombie dem. Na ting that way e happen for me some night as a komot Malingo Junction dee go ma place for Muea.

Da driver be start tok na how way e beat some small driver way e cosh yee say yee mami only becos e ask the other one say na how e park so. After the driver start tok with yee passenger way na driver about some da other  friend way e dee follow yee na only woman and mamee dem way dem de rent so that e ko stay with them for njoh. Time way e leave da yee  passenger colleague for Mile 17 e start tell say why e no ko ever sleep for njomba yee house.

                           According to ting way e tell we, time way e be till dee follow e be get some e fine ngah. Some day e carry yee dortee close dem inside bag go da ngah yee has so that the ngah ko wash am. Time way e rich the has, e leave the bag for some corner, climb for bed dee sleep, the ngah komot. As e dee sleep,some person knack door then start dee try for opening with key na yee way e wokop go open am. Then some big grand enter ask yee sigh way the ngah go. Na yee way e say the ngah  dong komot. But as e dee finish tok the ngah land. The grand torn ask the ngah nah say the driver na  who. Na yee way the ngah tok say the driver na yee small brother way e komot village. Taxi driver say time way the ngah tok so yee too e jos compork gree and then the grand frère turn see da yee bag close dem jos confirm say true true taxi driver na the ngah yee small brother from village. The grand frère take the ngah yee and yee go huberge go ‘work work’. Time way dem kam back da grand  frère ask  taxi driver day way e dee back for village then wash yee ten bag say when e rich make e salot raymay dem. After way e ko, driver wise say da grand na da ngah yee titulaire  and na yee dee pay the ngah yee long. Driver say e tie heart so tay morning rich then e beat day ngah like snake, take yee close dem go wash’am den swear em bible say e no ko ever sleep for girlfriend yee loko again. Da driver tell we say no be the fact say the ngah be get oda paddyman be vex yee. Ting way e vex yee na say da ngah call a whole yee say e be yee small broad way e jos komot village.

Na whetee dem dee teach for ENAM?

The other day as a be dee torn torn me for Molyko a meetop some ma old paddychap for Malingo junction. Me and da ngah be first meetop na for boarding school for B.H.S Mankon. Wo shidong for the same bench for Form 4, be friend sotay men dem start tok say na ma chap. After a komot B.H.S. Mankon go G.H.S Bokwango for high school, wo meetop again na for U.B. for department of law sotay wo graduate. So na really ma paddychap. After U.B. the ngah go ENAM but a go me na ASTI.

  As wo be dee chat, e ask me say na whetee dee again for U.B. wo strike. A no be really know ting way e dee happen for U.B. since a be dong finish for day wit school. So  a tell yee the kongosso way me too  hear for quartier. Na yee way the ngah torn ask me why wo ova like disorder. Say all da strike na disorder, disturbance of public peace. The tok surprise me becos time way wo be day U.B. from 2004 - 2007 e no be ever check say strike na disorder or disturbance of public peace. Na now way e dong go ENAM way e dong start check say strike na disorder, disturbance of public peace. Na yee way a start wonda whetee way e happen for the  ngah since way e go ENAM. Na whetee way dem dee teach dem for ENAM and some day oda school dem way na only concours fit carry you go day? 

   Dee matta no be play play becos a dong wise say when people dem go da school kam back they dee ever change. Before dee ma paddychap wan go ENAM e no be ever check say strike na bad ting. So ma question now whetee dem dee teach peepo dem for school dem like ENAM? Est-ce que dem dee teach dem na about idea dem way dem dong espire or est-ce que dem dee teach dem na about ting dem for now. Becos the idea say strike na bad ting na idea for da time way Ni John be wan launch SDF. No be idea dat for dee today so wit human rights and kind kind freedom dem. If wo gree say for check say strike na bad ting na back back idea then est-ce que they no get for change the kind ting dem way dem dee teach peepo dem for school like ENAM? Becos na dee kind idea dee make some Governor shidong unda AC gee order say make dem kill peepo da pikin dem when dem strike.

  As  a be dong first tok, dee palaver no concern na only ENAM. E concern even police and BIR dem. As a  komot Muyuka someday, some pa inside moto begin tell me how way yee pikin go BIR kam back way e dong change kwata kwata so tay yee mamee and small dem dee fear yee for house. Some person fit tok say da one na deefrend ting and a ko gree small but a ko still ask whetee dem dee teach for ENAM. If na say dem dee teach dem na idea dem for time for Moses then make dem change. Some person be dong tok say if na so so yee, e for jos lock the school sef and a  dee see ting way e be dee try for tok. ENAM na jos some ting way wo photocopy am from French peepo dem. Becos a no check say wo ever shidong ask wheda e fine for wee make wo big peepo komot from normal school with other normal peepo  oh make dem komot from deefrend school wo deefrend idea dem about the way way ting dem dee happen. ENAM no get na only problem wo ting dem way dem dee teach for day. E get problem too wit yee bad name. Peepo dem dee see am like place for go learn tiff torn money man jes noh jes noh. So na whetee dem dee teach for ENAM true true so?