How hard it is to be a man, anyway

I would like to start by saying that it is also hard to be a woman, but what do I know? I am a man. Anything I say about the trials and tribulations of womanhood would be conjecture and speculation at best, devoid of any truth. So I‘ll keep to what I believe I know: how hard it is to be a man.

Society despite its best intentions has heaped a load of attributes on men and deviation is often met with criticism. As soon as you’re a child you start feeling the heat of being a man. Whenever you cry too much for somebody's liking, this critical question is levelled at whoever is in charge of you. 'Why dee ya pikin dee ova cry so like woman?’ When immunisation time comes and you feel the irresistible need to greet the syringe invading your butt-vacy – the privacy of your butt (kids don’t have privacy) with a resounding squeal, the nurse will empathise with words like don’t cry, strong man, translation = if you cry you’re not a man, men must endure suffering silently even if their pain hurts badly. When you hit adolescence and have had the misfortune of being the son of a rich father, the pressure of equaling his success begins to build as comparisons start being formulated. Having a less financially endowed  father isn’t devoid of stress. Most young men born to modest fathers spend their lives trying not to be like their dads. That's hard, too.

When an African man can fend for himself, he is expected to do so for himself as well as his extended family. Even in these dull economic times, men even jobless are still being expected to start having families. Hit a certain age and still be single, your manhood is questioned.

Sometime in 2001, I effortlessly succeeded in putting myself in front of the discom, the disciplinary committee, of  Government High School, Buea where I schooled. The standard policy then was to welcome those summoned with 7 strokes of the whip. On that particular occasion, the Discipline Master Mr Sambozo – I must admit I have never mastered the spelling of his name - told us as he prepared his whip for the descent on our bodies that this beating was intended to give us clear minds so we could speak the truth. I stepped up to receive my due and the first stroke landed on my butt with thunderous intensity........ O'boy, the pain rattled through my entire body with lightening speed and I felt a pressing urge to unleash wails but all I did ultimately was hold my butt and squeeze it tightly hoping that this would muzzle the tsunami coursing through every stretch of my being. Why didn’t I cry? After the stroke landed and I was in the throes of pain, I suddenly remembered that my English Literature teacher was on the panel and that some classmates -female- were present. What will become of my male esteem in school and amongst my peers as these girls would most certainly be girls and go litter my class with news of my teary exploits?

How hard it is to be a man, anyway? It is hard more than some would care to imagine. It is a lifetime of you -against – the- world situations. But most importantly, it is a lifetime of being forced to deny one’s self basic and affordable privileges like crying and shedding tears when your body desperately needs them for your own welfare. It is a lifetime of trying to live up to society's expectations. It is simply an endless streak of SACRIFICE. If you experience this then you know how hard it is to be a man whether you’re male or female.

How guys can safely get bigger 'Guns'

Strange as it may seem to some, having a sizeable sex organ is one, if not the biggest, of the biggest male sexual fantasies. It is perched up there alongside things like having apps, being irresistible, sowing their wild oats long and wide and  a string of others. Suffice to say that it is an uber male fantasy. This fantasy is a tangible manifestation of the role potency in sexuality plays in defining the male identify. Society expects men to be larger- than- large sexual  beings.Women often taunt a man who doesn't answer their sexual calls by calling him a 'weak man'. Underwhelming sexual output from their man reoccurs repeatedly in the reasons women submit for cheating on their spouses. So the male conscience has an excuse to kindle and flame fantasies like this one.  To fill this yearning, some guys unfortunately resort to dangerous supplements. As a member of this group, I wonder if I can say I am sometimes not prone to this yearning, just sometimes I must add and insist.(lol) In a selfless attempt to come to the rescue of my kind, I have discovered a few ways men can get bigger sex organs safely.

1 - Stop letting your sexuality define you

Know that you're more than you're sexuality and act like it. Try to think you'll still be a man even if you're This means self exploration, discovery and furtherance of other avenues for identity development and affirmation. This a collective effort but somebody said if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make  a change.

2- Try monogamy at least even if serial

It is hard but try managing only one serious relationship at a time. Try this from all perspectives, emotionally, mentally and physically. If you keep just one relationship at a time and invest all you are and have in it, you're less likely to feel the need for extra flour to rise to the occasion. Being polygamous and spreading one's self thin might be the basis for this feeling.

3 - Know what you're partner wants

One reason why guys have this craving is to be able to be rise to the occasion with their companions. But this is built on the premise that this is the ONE and ONLY THING your woman wants from you. Wrong, some women don't give a damn about their guy's sexual offering. Some ogle  material things like cloths or money and even life's affordable commodities like attention and calling to say you''ll be late. If your woman falls in this category then you what you have will be enough and you won't need bigger armo.

Does this sound professorial? Yes it may. But does this make sense? Yes it may, hopefully.